Ethan 8.5.21

 It was like a normal day I thought to myself. Everything was quiet. You couldn't hear a single peep. Everything was strange, maybe a bit too strange. I headed to my house “MUM DAD WHERE ARE YOU!” I started to cry. Unexpectedly everything stopped. “Mum is that you?'' I cry out. Suddenly, darkness enveloped the room “Who’s there” . My instincts told me it's no good, but then I felt nauseous. I think I might pass out “thud” “Son Son!” What happened mum “you passed out” we found you  so we took you to the hospital now you are safe now.

Comments

  1. What a turn of events!! I've never fainted before, and I surely hope its not as terrifying as your story portrays it. You have taken this weeks prompt and turned it into a mini psychological thriller, well done. This is very well written. Did you know that you can use asterisk's to make a sound when writing? For example, try saying *Thud* instead of "Thud" to make your work even more impressive. Keep up the good work.

    Seren (Team 100)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job Ethan just look out where you need punctuation.
    From Archie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great work Ethan!

    Just make sure your punctuation is correct.

    ReplyDelete

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